How motherhood is deconstructing my hurriedness

I sometimes feel the bubbling of impatience as I mother. I observe myself and other parents wrestling with this desire to hurry up and get our little people to go where we want them to go. Children move at a slower rhythm and our prodding and pushing can disrupt their natural flow.

When I feel into the natural pace of children and then adults, there is a huge disparity between the two. This can cause a lack of harmony which usually results in unnecessary struggle. I don’t believe we need to force or coerce our children to do daily tasks. I see it as a partnership. I often ask myself how I would want to be treated.

For example: let’s say I am fully engaged in something I love like writing, reading or exercising. I am in my flow and someone comes up and jumps into my bliss and says: Hurry up. Let’s go. We are leaving right now to go do (fill in the blank). It would feel jarring and disorienting. Why would this be any different for our children? Yet, we expect them to just go with our pace and tempo.

One of the best pieces of parenting wisdom I’ve received was from the late Magda Gerber; her recommendation was one simple word: Wait! Silently repeating it to ourselves if needed. Wait…Wait… Wait... When we make a request…pause, wait, and give our children space to process. When we feel the urge to push our children to do something like put their pajamas on,  change their diaper or brush their teeth. Remember to wait.

Create more space in your mind and your life so you can give the gift of spaciousness. A natural flow will emerge, even if it feels counterintuitive. There can be a concern that by giving them more space they’ll never actually do what we are asking, but that hasn’t been my experience. Usually, I am astonished at how just a few minutes of patience can create so much more peace.

This may sound easy but it’s a monumental task to feel the rise of frustration and choose to wait and breathe. This doesn’t mean we are permissive with our parenting and let them do whatever they want whenever they want to do it. It just means giving more time and presence in order for them to move from their center.

Our role as parents is to create a safe haven for our children to thrive and also hold strong boundaries so they learn how to be a collaborator within the family. Treating them with respect and love and trusting that just because they are smaller and their brains aren’t fully formed that they understand, because they do. Their knowing may not always be an intellectual understanding. Most of the time (especially when they are young) this knowing is an energetic transmission.

The mother sets the tone, rhythm and culture for the family. We must be centered and attuned so we can create a flow that works for everyone. Sometimes this means there are time constraints we must honor in order to create harmony within the whole. This may upset our children’s desire for play and exploration which may include upset and tears.

This doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It just means we need to hold more loving space for them as they integrate the emotions that are arising. We all have these emotions and children just express them more fully and outwardly than we do. If we can hold space and allow their emotions to flow like a river they will move right through them.

It’s a constant dance. It’s vital for us, as mothers, to honor our desires and also our children’s. When these desires conflict (as they often can), I usually get down on my knees or pick my son up so we can connect eye to eye. Then, I say: I see that you want this and I want this. Let’s make a deal.

We talk about creative ways we can both get our needs met. Some days this goes smoother than others and sometimes we need to re-negotiate deals again and again. The simple practice of slowing down enough to listen, connect and be in relationship with my child makes such a big difference.

The reality is that children go slower than adults. They explore, they’re curious and ask questions, they see and experience the world with completely different eyes. If we are going to authentically connect we must tune into their level of absorption and focus…their enthusiasm for the ordinary. This isn’t easy for most of us.

Our culturally conditioned adult minds tend to move faster. Much faster and disembodied. Life is a full embodied experience for children — mind, body and spirit. So-called grown ups can tend to be distracted with future thinking about what’s next, where we need to go, what needs to get done.

I continually play with the rise of hurriedness I feel sometimes. This urge to hurry up. When I notice myself projecting into the future while I am at the park with my son or thinking about the dinner I still need to make, or wanting to be doing something more interesting, etc. I stop the mental chatter and ask myself to come back to the present.

I inquire into how can I sink more into this moment so that I can find the joy right where I stand. I ask: How can I be fully engaged with my child? Learn from him? He knows presence way better than I do. In many ways in the pursuit of adulthood I’ve unlearned the simple joys of living. Being with him helps me settle back into my natural soul pace.

The art of motherhood fascinates me. It’s a completely different pace and reality than most of the world. I wonder if this is why it can feel so challenging to be a modern mom? The email, the iPhones, the technology moves at the pace of electricity. Children don’t.

Our relationships don’t move in this way. They need space to explore and to feel and to rest in order to flourish. There is a rush we feel when we work, or are engaged with adults because most of the time the vibe is higher and faster. It feels more in sync with our racing minds. If we want to experience joyful parenting we can’t try to operate our home in the same way we would if were leading a meeting, managing a business, or trying to get 100 things done in a day.

There are days I wish for more excitement in my daily life. More burst of electricity and less of the mundane. Then, I step back and see. I see that motherhood is calling me deeper into myself and deeper into life. Which is what my soul wants more than anything. I want to live deeper. I want to feel more. I want to experience more. I want to feel the pulse of life running through my veins. This takes patience and practice. It’s not glamorous and it can be challenging. But, what could more powerful than returning to my natural essence?

Motherhood is changing me in ways I could’ve never imagined. I am grateful because it’s calling me home in a way I’ve been desiring for a long time. I just didn’t think it would look like this. I thought it would be more graceful and more easeful with more sparkles and joy. Not there aren’t a lot of those moments…because there are. But it’s…well, a whole lot harder than I envisioned.

I imagine it’s easier for some. But, for me it’s been a deconstruction phase where I’ve challenged my beliefs about time, love, joy and success. I continually choose to create the sacred in the ordinary again and again and again.

This has opened up space for a whole new re-invention of self that I wasn’t even aware existed. I could have missed this call for transformation but I’ve done my best to stay present to what’s real and true for me. Even during those times I wish things felt easier I hear the emergence of my true self whispering to keep on…there’s more unfolding you just can’t see it right now.

It’s all a work in progress. I am no zen priestess but I am slowly learning there is no need to hurry. I can sit for a bit longer. I can rest in the moment a bit longer. I can enjoy the sun on my face and feel the joy in my heart as I watch my son completely and fully be himself.

Why would I want to hurry this? My desire and practice is to be passionately present and engaged and connected. My son is my teacher on this one. His natural pace and essence is guiding me to a place I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have experienced if I wasn’t his mother.

The hardest part of stepping into motherhood was the feeling that I lost some of my spark, my creativity, my freedom. Now, I smile (most days) because I know that’s not true. I am finding an even more authentic voice and spark and an internal freedom. Transformation takes time, persistence, diligence and a willingness to see the light even as we navigate the unknown. And, motherhood is the definition of flux.

May I be present to the magic that is always unfolding. May I trust in the flow of life. May I rest in the joy that is always available. May I be engaged and present. May I be willing to slow down and go at a completely difference pace than the collective. May I move from a place of rest, ease and grace. May I continue to honor the sacred duty of being a mother.

Here’s a little free flow blissitation to support you in resting today:


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Bliss Diary – October 15, 2015

Just keep coming home to yourself. You are the one you’ve been waiting for. — Byron Katie

Affirmation: I trust my life! ❤

Mind/Heart Goodness: I woke up and meditated with the intention that all is well. I am on the right path. And, as I was going throughout my day I noticed the inner gremlins had a bunch of “opinions”.

I did some turnarounds on some of the the thoughts that were making me feel a bit grouchy to:

  • My life as a stay at home Momma is awesome. I love the joy and the simplicity and the ease that flows with regular routines. There is so much joy available if I am willing to look for it.
  • It’s all good I can’t drive (when you have seizures or even faint and take an ambulance ride they turn it into the DMV and you can’t drive for a period of time). It just means I get to simplify more and find new things to explore within in walking distance.
  • What I am going through right now in regards to my health is only guiding me to wholeness. I wouldn’t be growing in the way that I am right now if I didn’t have 2 seizures. It’s a blessing in disguise. I can see at least 5 ways this is true – #1 being we met with Daniel Amen on Tuesday! Hello, talk about AWESOME!
  • I am grateful that our kitchen is being remediated and we will soon have our dishwasher back. I am thankful I was so proactive and thrilled to have the mold out of our home!
  • I am blessed to have the opportunity, resources and knowledge to prepare our family’s meals with the most nutrient rich ingredients. It’s actually really fun if I let myself enjoy it! 🙂

This is the practice. Can we do it on the days we don’t don’t feel like or life doesn’t go the way we think it should? Life is as it should be! Now. Today. Always. I reminded myself this again and again throughout the day. 😉

What I learned from my toddler: I looked at the dishes in the sink. I sometimes resist doing them. We’ve been doing dishes by hand for the last month while getting the mold out and re-building. Thankfully, we have 2 sinks so we can still cook and clean. But, ok, back to the dishes…

I committed to getting them done and asked my 3 year old son if he wanted to help. He enthusiastically said: YES! Get what Dampa made (it’s a learning tower my step dad made for him). He was JAZZED to do the dishes! (Ha so great!) He jumped up and grabbed the sponge and started washing away. Then, he filled a big bowl of water and proceeded to dump it all over the counter and floor. sophocles-quotes-24562

I had to laugh as there was water everywhere while also reminding myself it’s all good.  I’ve been practicing being warm neutral, observing and stating what I notice for the last 3 years (Thanks to RIE). It’s been instrumental as I navigate this whole parenting process.

So, I calmly said: I noticed you filled the bowl and dumped it on the counter and floor. Is there a reason you did that?
He said: I just did it!
Then, I said: Ok, you can dump bowls of water in the sink but I don’t want it on the counter or the floor. Please keep all the water in the sink.
He said: OK and kept washing. No big Deal (NBD as we say in our house). We finished the dishes and he was actually really helpful and made it so much more fun! 🙂

I thought to myself. Life’s actually easier if we don’t bring the drama. I could have made it a bigger deal. But, the beauty of children is they explore, that’s what they are wired to do. If we get upset as they experiment with life it just shows we have some work to do, not them.

And, at the end of the day…What is my intention? My intention is to trust, experience joy and have a beautiful relationship with my child. TRUST! FLOW! JOY! SURRENDER!

Transformation is available every day no matter what we are doing! It’s always there waiting for us to step into our power if we are willing. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It can be as simple as washing the dishes with a toddler. And, the best part is we can either make it a game and enjoy the process or suffer. It’s not always easy but so worth the effort to choose fun and ease! 🙂

Nutrition:
* bulletproof coffee with 1/2 TB mct oil + 1 tsp ghee + 3 TB coconut cream + collagen +  stevia
* 16 oz green juice (celery, cucumber, parsley, ginger and a splash of apple)
* lulu’s maca chocolate buttercups with some plantain chips
* chocolate delish muffins + ginger kombucha
* 4 oz green juice + cauliflower rice w/bone broth + little bit of steak + olives + pasta sauce

— Wondering about my love affair with chocolate.;) And, also changing to decaf coffee and only going to have it on occasion. It’s been a good month experiment but I don’t want to have it everyday. Especially, since I won’t be drinking it while pregnant. No, I’m not pregnant but getting prepared. 😉

Meditation: 15 minutes

Movement: 35 minute walk/jog/stride on the bike path pushing the stroller + a 15 minute walk later in the day.

Rest: Bed at 9:30 last night and woke up at 5:30 am & a took a 30 minute napitation while my son napped.

Gratitude & Appreciation:  I am super grateful for Dr. Daniel Amen and his decades of research and pioneering. We had an amazing visit with him earlier this week! WOW! I am still integrating it all and really excited to increase my brain power even more. I am grateful for my beautiful computer. I am grateful for clean drinking water. I am thankful my cousin had a glorious birth and welcomed her first child into the world. New life…it’s a beautiful thing. I am grateful for all of my coaches and mentors over the years. It’s amazing how much I’ve learned and changed.

Thank you to the ordinarily extraordinary day that allowed me to continue to blossom where I stand and to my toddler who continuously shows me how to fully live out loud in such a real and authentic way!  May I continue to see all the blessings I have in my life. #thankyou

Ok, my son is loudly expressing he’s ready to go! Sending love!

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Body Shame to Body Love

I had a body love moment when I looked in the mirror last week and I talked about in the video above. I felt a huge wave of gratitude because that wasn’t always the case. Like many woman I’ve worked with body image issues throughout the years.  I shared a bit of my personal story and the 4 practices I believe have helped decrease shameful thoughts/feelings about my body and also help me celebrate the unique beauty in all women!

Ok, I hear a toddler wanting to play by saying: “Put me in.” He’s really into being wrapped up in blankets and then pretending he’s a caterpillar and finding a hole and coming out as a butterfly. So awesome and sweet and one of those times when you smile in awe of how amazing these little people are! 🙂

May we all continue to invite play into our transformation process.

Sending body love,

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Destiny Unfolding

There is no need to manipulate the people or circumstances in your life to get what you want or require for the next step in your unfoldment. Your only need is to consciously enter your co-creative relationship with the Universe. Surrender, trust, and open yourself to the intuitive guidance right within you and all around you — and watch your destiny unfold.
Michael Bernard Beckwith

There is vitality and peace in owning our life stories. I’ve done this on a deeper level the last 2 months. I continue to be called to celebrate my unique life. Not the one that I think I “should” be living but the one that is happening right here in this moment.

My destiny is unfolding (now…today) and I don’t want to miss the opportunity to rise up Destiny Unfoldbecause I think it should/could be happening differently. These so called “challenges” are a part of my life’s work….my purpose. This excites me!

One of the big lessons I’m integrating more is seeing my challenges as stepping stones supporting my expansion rather than diminishing my Goddess life. We can either experience stress or growth. I am choosing GROWTH!

Lately, I’ve been keenly aware that I’m swimming in the unknown. Of course everyone is always swimming in the unknown but I’ve felt the ever-changing multifaceted layers of life in a more visceral way. There have been moments of hope, love, inspiration and also fear, fatigue and doubt.

And, now…from where I stand with some distance from the experience I chuckle because it’s the classic heroine’s journey. I’ve clearly been called to an adventure. Sometimes the call doesn’t feel like an adventure when you’re working with something like trauma, a loss or a health issue, but it is.

We can either choose to go on the adventure and trust it’s leading us towards our bliss or resist the call. Part of following our bliss is going into the storm…the dark night of the soul. When we willing go in and be with it all we realize it’s actually invigorating and not as scary as we might’ve thought. This doesn’t mean it’s always sunshine and unicorns. We all have to navigate the dark phases and battle our inner dragons and this takes grit and power.

We will be tested. Will we have the courage and the strength to stay on the path and answer the call?  How can we choose joy as we navigate the terrain of transformation? Can we see it as a rebirth and call back the parts of our essence that may have been disowned?

We go through this cycle over and over throughout our lives. Each time we answer the call, do the work, deconstruct our fears we receive a gift to share with the world. We then, gain more fortitude to share our light because we’ve made the trek into the depths of our soul.

Even through the uncomfortable places I am finding so much to celebrate and honor…my power, resilience and love. The gratitude seems more poignant. Tears of joy and tenderness seem to fall more easily from my eyes. The dark is needed as much as the light. Dark doesn’t mean it’s bad it just means it’s dark. Just as the sun shines light during the day the moon shines in the darkness of the night. Embracing the totality of it all is the way of the Goddess.

Can we trust that it’s all happening as it should? Can we embody this quote from Byron FullSizeRender-1Katie:  Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do.

What does it look like to breathe into our heart and know that we are worthy and cared for no matter what? Fully embracing the powerful journey as we move from a caterpillar to butterfly…a snake shedding it’s skin in order to continually grow…to start anew. Can we hold space for ourselves through it all? YES, I know we can! 🙂

I smiled this morning when I woke up and danced while singing: I am exactly where I need be!! Destiny she blesses me. This is the good stuff. This is where the magic and miracles happen. I must honor all phases as I integrate my whole self.

Sending much love to you on your heroine’s (hero’s) journey. May you continue to unfold, blossom and thrive as you rejoice in the fullness of your life!

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P.S. Finding Joe is an awesome movie about the hero’s journey if you’re interested. 🙂

Bliss Diary – July 23, 2015

There’s nothing wrong with us. There’s nothing missing in us. Everything is for us and there is nothing against us. Let us remember this together. — Michael Beckwith

Intention/Affirmation: Glow with gratitude ❤

Nutrition:
7:15 morning delight
10:45 4 muffins – same as yesterday
2:00 few slices of watermelon
5:30 big goddess green salad

I didn’t feeling super hungry and was slightly nauseous later in the day. I did an afternoon workout and felt much better.

Movement:
20 minute strength workout + 5 minutes of stretching.
15 minutes of yin yoga before bed

Meditation: 15 minutes + 45 minute napitation

Sleep: 8 hours and 20 minutes. Bed by 9:20 and up at 5:40.

Body Goodness: When I originally looked at my thyroid results I thought I was golden because my thyroid antibodies weren’t in the red (nothing was in the red). But, then checking in with my Doc he said yes, you do have Hashimoto’s. My antibodies were on the lower side — Anti-Thyroglobulin Antibody was 32 and Anti-Thyroid Peroxidase Antibody was 14. I’ve seen some people with 600-1200 on these. I guess if you have any antibodies that can mean you have Hashimoto’s. I think I’ve slowly been healing in many ways because I’ve been gluten free/dairy free (except some ghee) for almost 9 years while eating an organic whole foods diet with no processed foods. Now I can get laser focused on the next part of the journey. Exciting! 🙂

There are a few things I need to take out in order to do the full Autoimmune Protocol. I’ve gone through spurts of taking each one of these out but not all at the same time:  Eggs, seeds like chia/flax/sunflower/hemp, cacao, stevia, ghee, lentils, some nightshades. I feel like knowing what I am working with now gives me more focus.

I’ve been wondering how many animal products I should eat and if I really needed them (letting go of the belief I’ve had for 9 years that animal products are toxic). But, everything I’ve read and researched has lead me to believe I do need them to heal.

And, I also wonder if aspects of my veganism diet may have contributed to micronutrient deficiency, inflammation and irritated an already leaky gut. Dr. Terry Wahls wrote a great article, Could Vegetarianism increase your risk of autoimmune disease? It’s about being a vegetarian for 15 years and how she completely changed her diet and psychology around eating animal products. This has removed some of my ambivalence about eating meat and I’ve gotta go all in and believe this path is the best one for me, especially working with an autoimmune condition.

Mind/Heart/Spirit Goodness: In my meditation this morning I visualized the blue-butterfly-on-pink-hydrangea-garry-gaythyroid, it looks like a butterfly. A butterfly symbolizes transformation for me. That is why I have a butterfly in the Rock Your Goddess Life logo. I smiled because this is and has been my path: self-expression, creativity, love, transformation. My thyroid and immune system are helping me to live my destiny. It’s not how I thought it “should” look but this is how it’s unfolding. To quote Byron Katie: “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do.”

Gratitude & Appreciation: I am grateful for another lovely day. I am grateful for my gratitude practice. I am grateful for the spaciousness in my life. I am grateful for meditation. I am grateful for all the books, websites and stories people share on how they’ve healed themselves. I am grateful for family. I am grateful for my menstrual cycle. I am grateful for all the simple joys and laughs I experience daily. I am grateful for naps and rest. I am grateful for all the love that surrounds me. ❤

Final thoughts for the day…I started my moon yesterday and in order to honor my cycles I’m going to rest and be offline and shut down my computer until Monday. I will integrate and prepare to start the AIP protocol on Sunday. This weekend I will also focus on the things I’ve written about in the last few posts in regards to healing on the mental/emotional/spiritual level.

Thank you for reading. I am sending you love and appreciation! ❤

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Bliss Diary – July 8, 2015

The only gift is a portion of thyself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nutrition:
7:00 longevity tea w/few tb coconut cream + tsp mct oil + 2 scoops collagen
10:00 16 oz green juice
10:30 bowl of coconut chips (chose this instead of making food so I could write this blog ;))
1:00 goddess green salad w/ salmon on a raw asian wrap
3:00 25 oz lemon, ginger, few drops of stevia
6:15 bowl of cauliflower rice/nori/bone broth/spinach/coconut oil/sea salt + ground beef + 5 olives

Movement:
10 minute walk + park time w/ little E
20 minute rebounding
60 minute adventure at the meadow walking, lunging, climbing trees, + a 30 lb toddler carry 😉

Meditation: 15 minutes + 25 minute napitation (with this little guy on my lap) FullSizeRender.jpg

Body Goodness: I am feeling sooo much better! Woot! Woot! I woke up feeling so grateful for this amazing body I have. I’m also feeling tight in my head and shoulders. I did more body scans today and noticed I unconsciously tense my body. Every time I noticed this I did some light bouncing and shook out my body combined with a few deep breaths to release the tension.

Mind/Heart Goodness: Lately, I’ve  been exploring what it means to be a creative woman and honor my choice to be at home with my son and future children. I love solitude. I’m an introvert with a splash of extrovert. I come home  when I have space to be with myself, alone. As mothers know, this isn’t something we have in abundance (especially with the little ones). Yet, it’s vital.

To quote Anne Morrow Lindbergh from her book Gift From The Sea:

The artist knows he must be alone to create; the writer, to work out his thoughts; the musician, to compose; the saint, to pray. But women need solitude in order to find again the true essence of themselves: that firm strand which will be the indispensable center of a whole web of human relationships. She must find that inner stillness which Charles Morgan describes as “stilling of the soul within the activities of the mind and body so that it might be still as the axis of a revolving wheel is still.”

Yes, how do we carry that stillness within us throughout our days even in the midst of the divine chaos called motherhood? How do we honor our creative spirits while being a powerful center for our families? How do we get our needs met so we can thrive not just survive?

I’ve been looking at motherhood as an art. The becoming a mother part is actually pretty easy. But, mothering with intention and purpose is an art. It is a creative expression…a craft to be practiced. It is one of the greatest gifts we can give to the world. I feel this. And, sometimes, I notice that I can make everything hard. The passage below is from Karen Maezen Miller’s book: Momma Zen. She’s talking with her teacher at the end of a retreat and he says:

“You seem to have a little problem with your work ethic,” he said. I didn’t follow, since I judged myself to be the hardest worker there ever was.

“You make everything work,” he said.

I do. Do you?

When you are scraping the crusted cereal from the wall with a chipped fingernail, do not think: For this I gave up a vice presidency. When you are folding a stack of late-night laundry, do not think: This is my sixth load this week and it’s only Monday. When you stand over the sink of three-day old dishes, do not think: When, oh when, will I ever catch up? And while you’re at it, please don’t complain about the mindless nature of a mother’s work. The great transformative potential of a mother’s work is that it is mindless. No thinking of any kind required.

Ah, yes and I come back to being in the moment (no thinking required.) I come back to my chosen art: FullSizeRendermotherhood. I come back to my intention to be the love, joy, stillness no matter where I am or what I am doing. Reminding myself, I get to choose how I experience my days.

What if my biggest creation was my child and who I became during the years of mothering? I smile as I look to the left of my desk at my toddler’s creation. Breathing in and breathing out. This is it. This is where the magic of transformation happens.

Gratitude & Appreciation: I am grateful for our adventure at the meadow. It’s so beautiful and fun to see my little guy explore the open land. I am grateful for music that moves me. My singing mantra today was: I am bountiful, blissful and beautiful. Totally elevated my energy. I am grateful for all of my books, yes, the ones that are still all over the floor. I am grateful for our local health food store. I am grateful for my quick chat with a fellow Momma Goddess (+ her kiddos) on our walk today. I am blessed. Thank you for another day.

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P.S. I was writing some of this while my son was playing in my office and he came up and hit my keyboard and somehow deleted a good portion of the post.

I said Argh out loud. He said: Mommy upset? A small smile breaks through the frustration. How can I be that upset when he asks me so sweetly? I said: Yes, I’m a little upset. Then, explained to him what happened requesting 5 more minutes to write. He got it and began playing again.

And then, I began again…and again…and again. This is the path of the Mother. How do we patiently, persistently, diligently, lovingly show up for ourselves and our families?

Bliss Dairy – June 30, 2015

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. — Albert Einstein

Affirmation/Intention: I am love, joy and divine light. I choose to be conscious about the energy I bring to every situation. It all matters and makes a difference. Bring it! 🙂

Nutrition:
morning delight
kombucha + green juice 16 oz
big green goddess salad w/salmon
coconut/collagen/mct oil smoothie

I’m upgrading my diet more. I’m going to take out kombucha. It has a bit of sugar and I know there are benefits with the probiotics but I feel it creates a bit of a craving and it’s not necessary for my goals. I am also increasing nutrient density with more greens/vegetables. And…thinking about taking out cacao for 30 days too – altho not ready for that one yet. ;).

Movement:
* 16:40 minutes of tabata –> lunges, kettlebell swings 26 lbs, plank/mountain climbers, squats/deadlift to row w/26 lb kettlebelMed
* 10 minutes VibraTrim
* 10 minutes yin yoga + pigeon pose before bed

Meditation:  15 minutes + 15 minute guided meditation

Mind/Heart/Spirit Goodness:
I have been doing “The Work” more with my thoughts. I love the simplicity of Byron Katie’s work. I did a workshop with her once and loved the grace, ease and joy with which she supported people in transformation. I intend on doing another one next month.

It’s amazing how much we believe what we think. Every time I ask: “Is it true?” I expand and see that there are multiple perspectives, emotions, feelings and stories that could be true as well. A spaciousness ensues and I don’t feel such a strong hold on whatever thought was gripping my attention. It’s all a story. Love this quote by Katie:

“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.”

What are we believing? Are these beliefs serving us? How can we inquire so that we can better show up as our authentic selves?

Here are the 4 questions to ask when you notice suffering:

  1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought?

Book Goodness: This weekend I read Moods of Motherhood.  The biggest takeaway I got is that motherhood is important work and so is my creativity. It also inspired me to celebrate my journey from maiden to mother.

I think she does an honest job of sharing some personal challenges that new mothers go through. It’s paradigm shift…a heroine’s journey, there is no doubt about that. It’s also an amazing area to do “The Work” and notice my beliefs, inquire and be willing to shift.

One of my favorite passages is “Nobody Told Me”.

You look at me bewildered, eyes gray with exhaustion. Milk-spattered, baggy clothes, hair awry. “Nobody told me…” you begin. You look at me, urging me to explain myself. How could I have kept this, all of this, a secret from you? Surely it was my duty to prepare you. “Nobody told me how much it would hurt, how exhausted I would feel, how much love I have in my heart that I think I will burst, how overwhelming it all is…” her eyes begin to well with the enormity of her new knowing.

All I can do is smile. To hold her. “We tried,” I say softly. Stroking her tousled hair. And, I think to myself. It is not so much that we did not tell you, as you could not hear. Until you have your own child, held in your heart, your ears are blocked, your eyes are blind to the reality of motherhood: its pains and its glories. Once you have been there, stood in the body of motherhood, then you can hold hands with every woman who has ever mothered. You know her joys and pains. You are her.

When I became a mother I found myself saying: “why didn’t anyone tell me it was going to be like this?” I suppose some tried but I couldn’t hear. I couldn’t even begin to imagine until I held my son in my arms and birthed myself as a mother. Now, I know and I am a more fuller expression of all aspects of the Divine Goddess.

Gratitude & Appreciation: I am grateful for Lissa and her awesome energy and colonic. I am grateful that my hubby got me a green juice today. Some women love flowers I ❤ green juice. 😉 I am grateful for the herbs and supplements. It’s astonishing how many people’s creative vision and inspiration impacts my daily life. Every moment my life is enhanced by someone’s creativity and vision. From my fork, to my food, to this keyboard, to the sidewalk to my green juice, to our home. I am continuously blessed. Always.

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