Bliss Diary – July 18, 2015

You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.
Pema Chödrön

Nutrition:
7:00 morning delight tea
8:30 3 scrambled eggs + mashed cauliflower
1:45 small handful of olives
3:30 salmon w/primal mayo + nori sheets w/ 1/2 of blueberry “jello”
5:30 1/4 c. blueberries + fresh coconut meat + little bit of coconut water

Movement:
5 minute walk
10 minute vibratrim

Meditation: 15 minutes + 30 minute guided meditation (mini nap)

Sleep: I was in bed at 9:15 and up at 4:45 (that’s when the little guy woke up) ~7.5 hours

Body Goodness: I was really craving chocolate today. This happens as I move into the pre-menstrual phase. I wondered if I was needing extra magnesium so I rubbed some ancient minerals gel on my body hoping that would help. It didn’t. 🙂 I chose not to have some but I did have the thought that this might be a good time to enjoy some in moderation. I haven’t wanted it all for almost two weeks. It hasn’t been challenging to give it up until today.

Mind/Heart Goodness: We all have these voices. I am intrigued by them. Where the heck do they come from? Why do they have such strong opinions? Why can they be so critical sometimes? I know a lot of these voices are passed down to us from family and society. I think they are trying to protect us, keep us in line so we won’t be judged, bullied, or criticized. Their intention (although not a very empowering one) is to keep us safe. Do we really want to live a comfortable and “safe” life?

Every once in awhile I notice thoughts wanting things to be easier. This voice thinks that one day I will figure it all out and everything will be easy and comfortable. I will hit a point where the whole following my bliss thing won’t feel like such a heroine’s journey. I won’t make any mistakes. I will always feel super empowered and move through fears and doubts. I won’t ever get hurt nor will the people I love. I realize this is ridiculous but this doesn’t stop this voice from trying to persuade me that if I work a little bit harder I will find the smooth sailing path.

The other night the hubby and I were listening to Alison Armstrong. It’s our habit to listen for at least 1 minute every night. She was saying that women have a “better woman” in their head judging her every move. This “better woman” says things like: A better woman would have already done that, or wouldn’t have that issue, or if you really had it together that would never happen to you, etc.

My best way to work with this “better woman” voice is to listen to it and say silently or out loud: I get that you think there everything should have it’s designated place, and I should wear my hair down more…be more fashionable, and get more of “everything” done, not need to take naps, and rock a weekly meal plan, etc. Then, inquire: Is it true that I should do all of these things? What will happen if I don’t do them? What am I scared people will say or think about me?

There is usually some level of fear that I am not doing it right or good enough or there is something wrong. When I see this I can shine some light and then rise up and move from heart and authenticity rather than the “better woman’s” commands and criticisms. I can move from love rather than fear. It takes some work but it is well worth it. 🙂

Gratitude & Appreciation: I am grateful for rain. We’ve really needed it so it I enjoyed the rainy day. I had flashbacks of when we lived in Bali. The rain there was magical. am grateful for my awesome colonic. I am grateful for a super chill day. I am grateful for my body and health. I am grateful for naps and guided meditations. I am grateful for all the women who push through their fears to create a life they love. I am continually inspired by the power of women. I am grateful for the new novel I am reading: Sara by Esther and Jerry Hicks. I am grateful for all the functional doctors who are paving the way and changing the world. #thankyou

alex_signature_pink

Bliss Diary – July 15, 2015

All problems have only spiritual solutions.
Michael Bernard Beckwith

Intention/Affirmation: Love myself + Practice loving the task in front of me throughout the day

Nutrition:
6:45 tea w/ coconut milk, mct, vanilla, cinnamon, cacao butter, stevia
10:45 kelp noodles w/ basil pasta sauce, kale, collards, and ground beef
1:00 16 oz green juice + kevita
3:30 big goddess green salad + coconut wrapshealth-quote-4
5:30 berry chia pudding w/chlorellla tablets

Movement:
* 35 minute of rebounding
* 30 minute stroll (toddler pace)

Meditation: 15 minutes + 30 minute acupuncture appointment with a mini nap

Cleaning Tip: When I notice resistance with the simple tasks like laundry, putting the dishes away, picking up toys, etc. I count how many seconds it actually takes me to do it. I did this with my lunch dishes. It took me all of 20 seconds to wash them. There are a lot of things I can focus my attention on all the way to completion, makes it easier in the end. Here’s a little inspiration from Byron Katie:

What I call “doing the dishes” is the practice of loving the task in front of you. Your inner voice guides you all day long to do simple things such as brush your teeth, drive to work, call your friend, or do the dishes. Even though it’s just another story, it’s a very short story, and when you follow the direction of the voice, the story ends. We are really alive when we live as simply as that—open, waiting, trusting, and loving to do what appears in front of us now…What we need to do unfolds before us, always—doing the dishes, paying the bills, picking up the children’s socks, brushing our teeth. We never receive more than we can handle, and there is always just one thing to do. Whether you have ten dollars or ten million dollars, life never gets more difficult than that.

Body Goodness: I did some re-evaluating today on the way I am eating. There are so many different theories on how to eat and I have to remind myself to keep coming back to how I feel in my body. Does this FEEL good in my body? Not do I THINK this is the right thing…but, how do I feel? What’s my energy like? Is this food increasing my vitality and radiance?

It’s such an exploratory journey. Today I got clear that I want to see how it feels  to increase my raw + cooked vegetable intake, and eat moderate fat and lower protein. That is what I am going to experiment with this week.

Serendipitous Moment: I went to a local cafe and drank a juice and did some writing/journaling. I was writing about my health + nutrition and what I want to do to prepare for our second child…then, the owner came by and said Hi and then, turned around and said: Are you pregnant? I laughed and said, No. He said: You seem to have that glow. I said: Well, that’s funny you should say that because I’m writing about that right now. He said: Well, maybe you are pregnant and just don’t know it yet. I’m 99.9% sure I’m not pregnant but I thought the connection was pretty sweet and serendipitous. 🙂

Mind/Heart/Spirit Goodness: I just saw my post on the Oasis about the “I Love Myself” Project we did last year. It reminded me to continue to practice self-love as I grow and expand. The compassion, joy, and connection easily flow from my being when I feel genuine love for myself. There are already plenty of thoughts running around in our heads and a lot of them are about our limitations…why not have our mantra be: I love myself.  And, then asking ourselves throughout he day: What would I do if I deeply and truly loved myself?

Here’s a little video I created for the 30 day project:

I’m in! Gonna give this practice a bit more lovin’. 🙂

Gratitude & Appreciation: I am grateful for my acupuncture treatment today. I am grateful that I got my thyroid test today and my TSH was 1.7. So, it went from 2.7 to 1.7 in the last 6 months. I am grateful for my computer. I am grateful for my new standing desk. I am grateful for my body. I am grateful for my family. I am grateful that I’m a Momma. I am grateful that I have the money to buy the supplements and testing that I want to do. I am grateful for all the people that help me optimize my body, mind and spirit. I am grateful for all the farmers who are committed to growing organic produce. I am grateful for the pioneers out there paving the way for a healthy country and world. I am grateful for my passion to learn. #thankyou

alex_signature_pink

P.S. I’m on Day 2 of keeping kitchen completely clean at the end of the day.  Thanks to the hubby for his participation and support. ❤

Bliss Dairy – July 13, 2015

Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we’ll ever do. — Brene Brown

Intention/Affirmation: I picked 3 cards and created my intention for the day: Keep your eyes open. Joy lives in small places.You know what to do, trust your inner wisdom, and take appropriate action without delay. It is “my” mind that creates my experiences. I am unlimited in my own ability to create the good in my life.

Nutrition:
8:30 4 muffins w/turmeric coconut buttter (added sweet potatoes instead of carrots for these)
1:30 16 oz green juice + fresh lemonade with chia seeds
2:00 small bowl of watermelon
2:30 big mixed green salad with a new olive oil dressing (needs some work ;)) + chicken
6:00 mixed berries jello like goodness (will share recipe soon) + 2 more muffins (so good!)

Movement:
10 minute walk
20 minute strength workout
15 minute yin yoga before bed

Meditation: 15 minutes + 20 guided meditation

Laugh Out Loud Moment: My son was really excited about vacuuming. I told him we’d do it when he woke up from his nap. As soon as he woke up, he said: Vacuum. Then, he started picking things up off the floor. I laughed. Ok, let’s do it!  He watched (+ ran in the other room) while I vacuumed. I’m done, I said. No Mommy, there’s some more right there, he said. I laughed pretty hard and said, You’re right. He must be tapping into my declutter challenge intentions. 😉

Body Goodness: I haven’t had a sweet potato in over 3 months. I’m curious how my body will feel tomorrow after eating them in the muffins. I have another month with herbs and limited carb/fruit intake to balance my intestinal flora and heal my gut, but I wanted to experiment to see how it felt. It has been a week since I’ve taken out chocolate, and today was the first day I felt a craving for it when my energy dipped around 3:30 pm. Happy for my commitment. I do think not having it is helping my adrenals.

Mind/Heart/Spirit Goodness: I’ve been writing my bliss diary for a month now. It feels good to be doing it again. Especially since this is what I did when I started my first blog 9 years ago. In that blog I shared my daily process of preparing for a fitness show on all levels mind, body, spirit.

Side note: During that process I gave some guys I ride from Madison to Chicago. They were hitchhiking across America (hitch50). They dared me to eat a tofu dog on stage for my show. If I did it they would pay for me to go to Hawaii for 10 days, as that was their last state to hitchhike to. I’m always up for fun, so I did it. (if you’re curious you can see a clip of my show HERE haha).

Ok, back to the blogging thing. A big part of this blog is loving myself through the process of owning my story. Showing up and being real as Brene Brown says:

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.

There is a vulnerability in letting our true selves be seen. I’ve been on this authentic path for the last 17 years, and I love it. I also know that it’s not for everyone…the whole meditation/mindfulness thang, or the organic whole foods diet, or intentional mothering, or talking about our heart essence, transformation and letting our light shine, or even the idea that women are Goddesses.

I didn’t grow up with this way of living. My mom is awesome and very tuned in but I’ve taken it to a whole other level by making it my life’s purpose. In college I used to hide my Dan Millman, Tony Robbins and Marianne Williamson books. I felt embarrassed. I thought if I liked (and needed) those books something was wrong with me.

Then, I met my first spiritual teacher, Barbara! She was my light. I did spiritual counseling with her all through college. I used to do reiki treatments before my college volleyball games. It felt like two different lives. As the years have passed I’ve slowly peeled the layers off and opened up to who I am and what I truly love and celebrate it rather than feeling shame about it.

And, yet…there are still those fears that come up once in awhile. What will people think? One of my mentors from the past, Terry Cole Whittaker wrote a book called: What you think of me is none of my business. So true and… it still sucks to be made fun of or criticized. No one enjoys that feeling so we subtly (or not so subtly) hide.

I can still remember those times when I was criticized…it felt like I had been punched in the gut. In college I was in a fitness magazine and a big thing erupted on the college forums with all sorts of nasty things about me along with a whole bunch of positive things. But, the negativity stuck and hurt (big time).  I wanted to hide. I was even upset that I was in the magazine. I didn’t want to shine my light.

How do we stay true to who we are and not diminish ourselves to be liked or to fit in?

I love blogging and sharing because it connects me to myself and I also know that the people who dig these types of “conversations” will resonate with what I share. There are (and have been) haters that won’t like what I am doing. I have to be ok with that and keep doing my thing! As Brene Brown quotes in her book, Daring Greatly:

Don’t try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer. – Scott Stratten 🙂

Serve the lovers. Let the haters go. Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we’ll ever do. Yes, let’s do this!

Gratitude & Appreciation: I am grateful for my great day with E. We had a beautiful flow and I experienced a lot of joy, connection and amazement. I am grateful that I’m at home to see his little and big development leaps. I am grateful for our cuddling and reading time this afternoon (so sweet).  I am grateful for another great evening chat with the hubster. I am grateful for Brene Brown’s wisdom. She is such an inspiration. I am grateful all of my mentors throughout the years. I am blessed for the abundance of goodness in my life. #thankyou

alex_signature_pink

Bliss Diary – July 8, 2015

The only gift is a portion of thyself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nutrition:
7:00 longevity tea w/few tb coconut cream + tsp mct oil + 2 scoops collagen
10:00 16 oz green juice
10:30 bowl of coconut chips (chose this instead of making food so I could write this blog ;))
1:00 goddess green salad w/ salmon on a raw asian wrap
3:00 25 oz lemon, ginger, few drops of stevia
6:15 bowl of cauliflower rice/nori/bone broth/spinach/coconut oil/sea salt + ground beef + 5 olives

Movement:
10 minute walk + park time w/ little E
20 minute rebounding
60 minute adventure at the meadow walking, lunging, climbing trees, + a 30 lb toddler carry 😉

Meditation: 15 minutes + 25 minute napitation (with this little guy on my lap) FullSizeRender.jpg

Body Goodness: I am feeling sooo much better! Woot! Woot! I woke up feeling so grateful for this amazing body I have. I’m also feeling tight in my head and shoulders. I did more body scans today and noticed I unconsciously tense my body. Every time I noticed this I did some light bouncing and shook out my body combined with a few deep breaths to release the tension.

Mind/Heart Goodness: Lately, I’ve  been exploring what it means to be a creative woman and honor my choice to be at home with my son and future children. I love solitude. I’m an introvert with a splash of extrovert. I come home  when I have space to be with myself, alone. As mothers know, this isn’t something we have in abundance (especially with the little ones). Yet, it’s vital.

To quote Anne Morrow Lindbergh from her book Gift From The Sea:

The artist knows he must be alone to create; the writer, to work out his thoughts; the musician, to compose; the saint, to pray. But women need solitude in order to find again the true essence of themselves: that firm strand which will be the indispensable center of a whole web of human relationships. She must find that inner stillness which Charles Morgan describes as “stilling of the soul within the activities of the mind and body so that it might be still as the axis of a revolving wheel is still.”

Yes, how do we carry that stillness within us throughout our days even in the midst of the divine chaos called motherhood? How do we honor our creative spirits while being a powerful center for our families? How do we get our needs met so we can thrive not just survive?

I’ve been looking at motherhood as an art. The becoming a mother part is actually pretty easy. But, mothering with intention and purpose is an art. It is a creative expression…a craft to be practiced. It is one of the greatest gifts we can give to the world. I feel this. And, sometimes, I notice that I can make everything hard. The passage below is from Karen Maezen Miller’s book: Momma Zen. She’s talking with her teacher at the end of a retreat and he says:

“You seem to have a little problem with your work ethic,” he said. I didn’t follow, since I judged myself to be the hardest worker there ever was.

“You make everything work,” he said.

I do. Do you?

When you are scraping the crusted cereal from the wall with a chipped fingernail, do not think: For this I gave up a vice presidency. When you are folding a stack of late-night laundry, do not think: This is my sixth load this week and it’s only Monday. When you stand over the sink of three-day old dishes, do not think: When, oh when, will I ever catch up? And while you’re at it, please don’t complain about the mindless nature of a mother’s work. The great transformative potential of a mother’s work is that it is mindless. No thinking of any kind required.

Ah, yes and I come back to being in the moment (no thinking required.) I come back to my chosen art: FullSizeRendermotherhood. I come back to my intention to be the love, joy, stillness no matter where I am or what I am doing. Reminding myself, I get to choose how I experience my days.

What if my biggest creation was my child and who I became during the years of mothering? I smile as I look to the left of my desk at my toddler’s creation. Breathing in and breathing out. This is it. This is where the magic of transformation happens.

Gratitude & Appreciation: I am grateful for our adventure at the meadow. It’s so beautiful and fun to see my little guy explore the open land. I am grateful for music that moves me. My singing mantra today was: I am bountiful, blissful and beautiful. Totally elevated my energy. I am grateful for all of my books, yes, the ones that are still all over the floor. I am grateful for our local health food store. I am grateful for my quick chat with a fellow Momma Goddess (+ her kiddos) on our walk today. I am blessed. Thank you for another day.

alex_signature_pink

P.S. I was writing some of this while my son was playing in my office and he came up and hit my keyboard and somehow deleted a good portion of the post.

I said Argh out loud. He said: Mommy upset? A small smile breaks through the frustration. How can I be that upset when he asks me so sweetly? I said: Yes, I’m a little upset. Then, explained to him what happened requesting 5 more minutes to write. He got it and began playing again.

And then, I began again…and again…and again. This is the path of the Mother. How do we patiently, persistently, diligently, lovingly show up for ourselves and our families?