Daily Bliss – November 9, 2015

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.  Howard Thurman

Affirmation: I feel enthusiastic, energized, radiant, powerful, and joyful!

Nutrition:
* 7:30 bulletproof decaff coffee w/cacao powder/coconut milk/mct oil/stevia
* 10:00 power smoothie (homemade almond milk, steamed spinach, blueberries, maca, stevia leaf, collagen)
* 12:30 handful of plaintain chips (planned on a juice but the place was closed)
* 3:00 chicken dipped in primal kitchen mayo (love this stuff)
* 6:00 butternut squash soup with sauteed chard and ground beef topped with avocado + few bites of a persimmon

Movement: 5 minute walk at 6:15 w/ E to walk the doggie + 20 minute strength workout (pretty light but did get heart rate up) +10 minute walk + 10 minute walk + 10 minute family walk

Meditation: 20 minutes + 45 minute napitation and listened to this 4 minute Blissitation: Power Strength & Courage:


Book Love:
I recently finished these books:
The Loving Diet. This one’s about going beyond paleo into the heart of what ails you. I really loved it because it’s about choosing to love yourself and life no matter what your physical ailments are. Jessica, the author, focuses on the autoimmune protocol in her practice but she also brings a lovely heart centered approach to healing that I really dig.

Kale and Coffee. I’ve known about Kevin Gianni (The Renegade) for years. His book is all about his journey to finding health, happiness, and longevity. I enjoyed reading his story because I was pretty intense (like him) with the vegan (high raw) diet. I appreciated his honesty, courage and willingness to explore all avenues of health to see what works best for his body even when it challenged what he believed to be true.

Notes from a Blue Bike. It’s another memoir all about the the art of living intentionally in a chaotic world. Tsh is a wife and a mother to 3 kids. I love reading about how other mothers are creating their desired lives. It takes courage to create sacred boundaries in order to live the lives we most want. She’s a great writer and it was a fun to travel around the world through her eyes.

Body Goodness: I’ve been slowly getting off the bulletproof coffee. I liked the potential health and longevity theory but I didn’t notice any big benefits. And, I feel like a green smoothie/juice would probably be a better choice for me. Happy I tried it though.

Dr. Amen gave me some Serotonin Mood Support to help optimize my brain from what he saw on my brain scans mostly my limbic system being a bit overactive and signs of some trauma (from the last year with mold, our dog being killed and our best friend’s death). I think I notice a difference. I start my moon cycle in the next few days and I don’t feel the slight irritability + heightened emotional sensitivity that can come up for me at this time. Go serotonin boost! 🙂

Mind/Heart Goodness: I am inspired to simplify even more and to keep refining my essentials and rockin’ the simple habits that add the most power and joy to my daily life. I get *really* excited about a lot of habits and things I want to do and can tend to want to do them all (now!). 🙂

I’m bringing in my focus and only picking a few. This feels a bit challenging but I also know I will master more habits in the long run doing it this way. The question that is at the forefront of my mind is: What is most important now? What will have the greatest impact on my life today, next month, next year? What would it look/feel like if I did these habits every day? Simple wins and creating sustainable success!

Gratitude & Appreciation: I am grateful for the blue sky and clouds. They seem extraordinarily beautiful today as we walked and played outside. I am grateful for the abundance of yummy fruits and vegetables we have access to every week. I am grateful for books. Every day so much gratitude for books and the awesome people who wrote them! I am grateful for all the sweet little interactions we have with people around town. I am grateful for everyone who helped built the new park by our house. I am grateful for the Internet and all the amazing people I’ve met because of it, including my husband! I am grateful for the life and family we’ve created together.

Oh, and I won the day for my Brain & Body Optimization Game! Woot! Woot!

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Brain & Body Optimization Game

Recently, I posted about a game I’m playing to help optimize my brain and body! I’ve been (mostly) rockin’ it! I haven’t done a great of a job with holding the vision and jazzing up my enthusiasm or tracking my daily progress which I know is impacting my intention, daily focus and commitment. And, making those meals. Yeah….

We don’t eat out (well, occasionally we do get a plain roasted chicken + some pre-made guacamole at Whole Foods and a salad if we go to Erewhon Market – my two favorite health food stores EVER!) but that’s about it these days.

The other night I knew I needed to do a better job with meals because we went to the park after the hubster was done working and I didn’t have anything prepared for dinner (usually I at least have something planned). So, we ate organic chicken/turkey sausages, plantain chips, olives and fermented pickles. Bonus points for getting outside and moving but…the whole meal planning needs work! 🙂

I felt like I needed to breathe new life into my game!

So, I printed off the game and made a commitment to read it every day and actually play the game by keeping score. I’ve kept track some days and I noticed I felt more on purpose and alive, so I am going to do that more! Focusing on getting better not doing the game perfectly (reminding myself!). 🙂

I wanted to share it with the hopes that it will spark and help you rock your health even more! Here’s the game:


The Brain & Body Game

The Mission: I’ve chosen to take on the mission of optimizing my brain and body and supporting my son and husband to do the same. The intention is to execute and follow the plan to completion. Epic win, baby! I will detox the mold out of my system, balance my brain and increase my energy and vitality. #YES

Superhero Name: The Supercharged Goddess! She is all about creating vibrant body and brain health and peak performance. She has the ability to heal and create a beautiful brain and vibrant body! #Superpowersbaby!

My divine assignments are to focus on daily core vitamins:
Vitamin (N)utrients — Eat an abundance of nutrient dense foods + eliminate potential inflammatory foods
Vitamin (E)xercise — Move ALOT throughout the day
Vitamin (R)est Digital sunset (meaning turning off electricity when sun goes down) go to bed early + nap when needed
Vitamin (M)editation AM 15 minutes (bonus if I do it in the evening)
Vitamin (G)ratitude — AM + PM  (+ choose gratitude and appreciation though out the day)
Vitamin (O)ptimism — Review my game + feel into my vision every AM + PM – Choose awesomeness!
Vitamin (L)ove — Practice loving kindness towards myself/others. No criticism, blame, complaint.
Vitamin (P)lay — Have fun! Play and enjoy! 🙂 Be willing to do things differently and laugh a lot!

Game Rules:
1. The game is 5 weeks long. Start Date: October 26, 2015 + End Date: November 30, 2015. This is sort of a jump start because according to my functional doc this will probably be 3-6 month process.

2. My Yeses — Eat meals that are super nutrient dense, lower in carbohydrates, limited fruit and nuts (with a lot of autoimmune protocol meals to help decrease any inflammation).

3. My Nos — No grains, No legumes, No dairy (except ghee), No sweetener of any kind (except stevia), No vegetable oils (to keep a healthy omega 3 to 6 ratio) — with the exception of an occasional “special” day when we choose to eat out. Most of our meals are in alignment with this already but it makes it easier when there is absolute clarity.

4. Be intentional — Stay connected to the vision, record +celebrate my daily wins and progress.

Feeling & Being Desires:
1. Enthusiasm — I feel enthusiastic!
2. Energy — I feel energized!
3. Radiance — I feel radiant!
4. Power — I feel powerful!
5. Joy — I feel joyful!
6. Love — I feel loving!

Specific Desired Outcomes:
1. Create amazing systems so it’s easy for our family to eat a daily nutrient dense diet (6+ servings of vegetables a day with good amounts of healthy fat and moderate amounts of protein)
2. Detox mycotoxins (mold) and eliminate any potential inflammation in body/brain (confirm this with another urine test from reatime labs)
4. Optimized + supercharged blood panel (will test with wellnessfx )
5. Optimized gut panel with genova (no mold, candida, optimal gut flora + optimal digestion)
6. Optimized hormone panel (comprehensive test — thyroid, progesterone, testosterone, estrogen, etc.)
7. Balanced and optimized QEEG with neurofeedback training  (do 10+ sessions)
8. Be ready to cut down on the anti-convulsant (keppra) medication to 500 mg starting in December. I’ve already gone from 1000 mg to 750 and intend to go to 250 by January and then completely off by the end of January and then be able to drive again in February. #YAY!

This is the structure I am using to track:

Energy Generators: Goal is to activate at least 5 of these a day. —  1 point for each one.
✓    Morning sunshine — say hello to the sun within an hour of waking (1 minute minimum)
✓   Read my vision – get inspired and create day
✓    1 song dance
✓    Take supplements
✓    Meditation
✓    Nap(itation) – meditation + nap
✓    Take 10 deep breaths
✓   Walk (minimum 5 minutes)
✓    Strength Training (minimum 10 minutes)
✓    Rebounding
✓    Green Smoothie
✓    Green Juice
✓    Raw greens
✓    Cooked greens
✓    Bone broth or collagen supplement
✓    Sing and/or hum
✓    Plan the meals for the day (do this the night before)
✓    Body Love — look in the mirror and say I love you and appreciate 1 thing about my body
✓    Gratitude – take a gratitude pause and/or thank someone for helping me in some way (be specific)
✓    Whole Body Vibration Machine
✓    Grounding – use mat or go outside on the earth
✓    Touch a tree and take a few deep breaths
✓    Digital sunset + in bed by 9

Score for the day:

Obstacles: Goal is to avoid at least 5 of these a day.  — 1 point for each one. We all have obstacles that get in the way of achieving what we most desire. It’s important to be aware of them so we are prepared to choose (not resort to our default tenancies).
✓    No sweeteners (except stevia)
✓    No packaged foods
✓    No grains
✓    No legumes
✓    No vegetable oils (like canola, safflower, sunflower, grapeseed, etc.)
✓    No eating out
✓    No dairy (except ghee)
✓    Laziness – not being prepared and/or not wanting to make food
✓    Not picking up the kitchen – I notice it’s much easier and more inspiring to cook in a clean kitchen
✓    Negative self-talk and victim thinking (5 to 1 with myself – meaning 5 appreciations for every criticism).

Score for the day:

Goddess Adventures: These are bigger so I get 5 points each time I do one of these. 🙂
✓    Go to a class – fitness, yoga, do something different
✓    Neurofeedback session
✓    Colonic
✓    Enema – coffee or probiotic one
✓    Wash a bunch of vegetables and cut them up so they are ready for meals  — my ultimate goal is to create a system that makes this easy (calling on the food fairy for support on this one;)
✓    Make a new recipe
✓    Help someone else – Look for ways to help other people – do something for someone else — actually plan a way to do something kind and helpful for someone else.
✓    Dance party — 3 or more songs – sing, laugh and dance
✓    Letter of appreciation to myself. Thanking myself for all that I am doing and accomplishing and who I am becoming.
✓    Record and listen to the Optimize Body & Brain Game! (Create a meditation and a vision of why I am doing it and who I am committed to being.) — started working on this yesterday!:)
✓    Do The Work or ANTS (reframing Automatic Negative Thoughts by Daniel Amen) when I notice something triggering me
✓    Sauna (minimum 15 minutes)
✓    Hyperberic Oxygen session
✓    Do something fun and ridiculous and out of the ordinary — skip down the street, do a cartwheel,  hop on one foot, do a break dance while making dinner. Change it up! (like adventure quests with a toddler).

Score for the day:

What’s my Heroic Victory? These are some of the questions I am contemplating and maybe they will inspire you to do something new to upgrade your health.
* What’s the end vision look and feel like?
* How will this game help me grow? What do I hope to learn?
* Who do I want to be for my family? Why is this important to me?
* What would feel super epic if I accomplished in regards to my health?
* How can I be the heroine in my own life and make myself proud?

Love to hear your thoughts and any ideas/games you might want to play!

alex_signature_pink

P.S. Any tips on meal planning for those of you superstars that have mastered that habit!? 🙂

The Rechargeables: Eat Move Sleep

We read the Rechargeables book indexat least once a day. It’s one of little E’s favorites. I love it because it reminds us how simple and important staying recharged is to living an optimized life.

If we, as a family, are eating right, moving and sleeping well we are setting ourselves up for a pretty awesome day!

Eat, Move & Sleep are vital for our family flow. We have such great routines that it’s easy to notice the impact on the whole when someone is off in one of these 3 areas. Life is so much smoother (and more fun) when our days are shaped around these basic principles.

Are we eating nutrient dense foods? Moving a lot? Getting outside? Resting and sleeping well? If the answers are YES we’re rockin’ it! I also like to add in some FullSizeRender-6gratitude, a positive mindset, play and laughter and we’re unstoppable! 🙂

Today in celebration of the eating well principle we made some juice. E’s at the age now where he can do it by himself (w/my supervision of course) which is pretty exciting. He *loves* to do it. Today we juiced outside because Daddy needed us to be quiet so he could record. Toddlers and quiet don’t usually go together.:)

<– Here FullSizeRender-7we are drinking our juice and getting recharged.

Ok…back to the Rechargeables book. The main characters – Poppy and Simon go on a bunch of adventures to figure out how to keep their charge up and stay in the green zone. By the end they realize it’s essential to eat right, move more, and sleep well for energy. Then, they decide to go and help everyone in the village get recharged.

Sidenote: In a lot of our books I change words and even some story lines. I actually really dig most of this one but still do add a few additions here and there.:)

Here’s a fun little recording we did about how to stay recharged while we were making juice:

(At the end Zeus, our dog got scared of the wind blowing so E was checking in to make sure he was ok.;)

We talk about Simon and Poppy a lot. They even accompany us on our walks, playing and making food in the kitchen. It’s such a brilliant way to help children understand how they can impact their health and energy (and a great reminder for us parents too). FullSizeRender-8

Emerson will say things like: I am getting my charge up when he eats or he’ll ask if something is brain food. Or, he’ll run and say: I am getting recharged. At bedtime we talk about how sleep helps us stay well resourced and recharged so we can have another great day tomorrow! 🙂

What are your favorite children’s books and ways to recharge with your family?

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Bliss Diary – October 26, 2015

To keep faith with life is to experience that everything — everything that comes to us, whatever it is — has it’s place in the puzzle of our existence. — Roger Housden

I am starting my Optimized Brain & Body Game today. The gist of the game is to win the day for the next 5 weeks. I do this by honoring the nutrition protocol and doing 5 energy generators, 1 adventure and avoiding 5 obstacles. #wootwoot

Affirmation: I’m on fire with life! It’s all good!

Nutrition:
* 7:30 cup of bulletproof decaff coffee with 2 tsp of mct oil + tsp of ghee
* 9:30 25 oz green juiceFullSizeRender
* 10:30 celeric soup w/ sauteed purple cabbage topped with olives + a slice of bacon
* 2:30 3 scrambled eggs + sweet potato fries + probably 2 oz of my son’s smoothie (1/2 green apple, 1/3 c of mango, 1 small cucumber, 1/4 avocado, 8 oz green juice = suuuuper good!)
* 5:30 ish 25 oz green juice + then around 6:30 had a little bit of ground beef and a pickleFullSizeRender-1

Body Goodness: Day 1 and I woke up with a little bit of a headache.;)  This almost never happens but it fueled my desire even more. I want to feel really good in my body. This is why I am playing this game. I got up and did my normal routine and committed to having a wonderful day and knew that once I drank a bunch of water and got moving it would go away. By 8:30 I felt awesome! I felt on my game and inspired for most of the day. I did notice a drop in energy and enthusiasm around 3:30 pm but knew that it would pass (helps to have a practice to not dive into stories too much).

Mind & Heart Goodness: I notice that one of my biggest complaints is lack of energy. This morning in my meditation I reminded myself that I am the one who gets to choose my energy. I can do a lot of things to generate more energy and power in my body that only take 1-5 minutes. Do something – anything-  to get into motion!

I am changing the habit of fatigue. I noticed how much I can believe the lack of energy story and the more I believe it the more it keeps me locked into feeling tired. I decided to consciously choose ENERGY today. No matter what. I choose vitality, health and joy!

Even when I felt my energy dip in the afternoon I knew I could do things to increase my mojo. I acknowledged the tiredness while also noticing that I could still find aspects of joy and energy even with a lower sense of vitality. I can use tiredness to my advantage. It can be a signal to slow down, breathe and be with it (not make myself wrong for feeling this way which is another habit I am working on;). I keep reminding myself to not believe everything I think, especially when I’m feeling tired. 🙂

Gratitude & Appreciation: I feel so blessed to be able to play this game. I feel grateful for the inspiration that is flowing through me. I am grateful for all the people that inspire me daily. I am grateful for green juice (love that stuff). I am grateful for my husband and son. Life is so much better with them. I am grateful for my freedom. I am grateful to be able to create my life the way I do. I am grateful for all that books I get to read. I am grateful for all the healthy and delicious food we have in our kitchen. I a grateful to have our kitchen put back together after the remediation. I am grateful for my passion and curiosity. I am grateful for all the sweet littler interactions with have with our local community every day. I am grateful for our beautiful home. I am grateful for my Mom and all of her support and love. I am grateful Fall is here. I love this time of year. 🙂

Energy Generators: I win one point for each one of these
15 minute meditation
20 minute rebounding
10 minute morning sun + grounding on some dirt in the backyard (2 points)
Green juice
5 minute self-massage (head and shoulders)
10 deep breaths
“I’ve got spirit cheer” — This was some loud whooohoooo’s + yeaaaaaahs with some cheerleading jumps (ridiculous, fun and energizing ;))
5 + 5 + 5 minute errand walk pushing stroller
35 minute napitation
1 song dance
Gratitude practice
Family Walk
Daily supplements
Bed at 9:15

14 points

Adventures: I win 3 points for each one of these.
1. Do the work (Byron Katie style) + Daniel Amen’s ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts) practice on something that is triggering me

3 points

Obstacles: 1 point for jumping over/avoiding these.
1. No kombucha
2. No sweeteners
3. No dairy
4. No legumes
5. No grains
6. No vegetable oils
7. Laziness (mostly in regards to not wanting to make food)
8. Stop negative self-talk and victim thinking (+ reframe)

8 Points

Today I won the day! #YES! Total Score: 25 points

Can I get a higher score tomorrow? 😉

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P.S. I am recording this every day and will post my diary on occasion. 🙂

The Brain & Body Optimization Game

Tomorrow I start playing a game I created called: The Brain and Body Optimization Game. If you’ve been following my journey the last few months you know I’ve been investigating the cause of 2 seizures with the biggest trigger being hidden mold in our kitchen. I’ve seen a lot of doctors/healers/practitioners and have received valuable advice. Now I am simplifying and focusing on the action steps I think are the most vital for my well-being.

One of my biggest findings is that I have mycotoxins (from the mold) in my system. These are very toxic for the brain. I found this out by doing a urine test with RealTime Labs. I am working with my local functional doctor to detox. The basic protocol is: specific supplements, eating a super nutrient dense diet, glutathione IVs, along with colonics, infared sauna and hyperbaric oxygen sessions.veggies 1

I also learned some amazing goodness from Dr. Amen about my how my brain is currently functioning. There are a few places that need some extra lovin’.

My brains scans were congruent with some emotional trauma and he recommended EMDR therapy for that. I also had one area on my QEEG that he thought neurofeedback would help. I met with his friend, Bryan Hixson, and will be starting a series of sessions soon. And, Dr. Amen generously gifted us with a month’s worth of supplements to help optimize my brain more. #jazzed #blessed

I’ve got my “team” for the next phase of healing. It consists of my functional medicine doc – Dr. Bernhoft plus the brain doc/neuroscientist – Dr. Daniel Amen and Bryan Hixson the neurofeedback brain performance expert. I still need to find an EMDR therapist and then it will be complete. I will re-evaluate in the next few  months to see if anyone else is needed but I feel pretty supported with these 3 superstars!

I will share the whole game in the next few days so you can see how I intend to play. 🙂 I’ve always loved creating my life in a gameful way. I’ve been doing it for years and with this specific game I’ve added some upgraded tools and inspiration from Superbetter. I’m golden and ready!

The game will be 5 weeks long with the focus being on healing my braiveggiesn and my body and taking my health to the next level. I will be eating a lower carbohydrate diet, moderate protein and higher fat with a splash of the autoimmune protocol to reduce any hidden inflammation in brain/body.

This is a whole family game. Because #1 it’s more fun to optimize and supercharge together and #2 because we have all been exposed to mold.

Today we made a bunch of green juice, and the guys got a blissload of nutrient dense foods at the farmer’s market and then, we made sweet potato fries, celeriac root soup, and sauteed purple cabbage. And, we just finished washing and cutting up a bunch of veggies to get ready for the week. Go Time! Yahoooo!! 🙂

Now, we are off to walk to the park! Hope you’re having an awesome day!

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Magical & Miraculous Love List

There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.
Albert Einstein

These are a 9 of my favorite experiences from last week:

❤ My son turned 3 years old. What a beautiful journey. He is the light of my life. He inspires me to rise up and be who I am (even more). His birthday is also a celebration of my initiation into motherhood. I was forever changed the day he was born. I gave birth at home in our bedroom and it was one of the best and most powerful days of my life. Motherhood can be such a vital expression of our creativity as mothers (in my humble opinion). In many ways this “art” form is raising me as much as I am raising my child.

I interviewed the late incredibly glorious Gabrielle Roth (creator of 5 rhythms) about 7 years ago and one of the things that stayed with me was how much she said having her son transformed her. While most of her friends were going off to be with gurus, going to mediate in the Himalayas and seeking enlightenment she decided to have a child.  I’ve remembered and thanked her for her wise words over and over the last 3 years.

Motherhood has been one of the biggest spiritual practices of my life. Everything that we need for spiritual awakening and growth happens in the day to day life with a child. If we are willing to see it…it’s all there and we can grow from everything (yes, even the laundry, the crying, the night wakings, the boundary testing, and all the attention and care that is needed to help these little people thrive). This is where we see what we’re made of, we see our cracks that need some extra lovin’, and we embody our power and gifts. Children help us see deeper into who we truly are.

❤ This is one of my favorite miraculous moments ever. So…I’ve been reading Dr. Daniel Amen and loving his brain wisdom. I was talking to my husband on Sunday about wanting to go to one of his clinics to get a SPECT scan so I can see how my brain is functioning.

Monday morning Dr. Amen serendipitously emailed Brian about his revised and updated book: Change Your Brain, Change Your life that will be coming out soon. Long story short, Brian told him about my 2 seizures and mold and we are both going to do scans and do a consultation with him next week.

Whhhhaaaat!?! Totally jazzed and over the moon grateful! He is literally the *perfect* doctor for me to see. He is one of the world’s best in his expertise on brain, mold and thyroid function. I am in awe and definitely did a big happy dance when we booked our appointments! 🙂

❤ Taking a walk one morning with my son and our dog at 6:45 am. Aaaaammmmazing! Beautiful reminder of the simple joys of life. The glorious sun, the fresh crisp morning air, the vibrant trees…life really is a grand adventure. There was such a joy, lightness and freedom that moved through all of us as we played in the early morning radiance. An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day. — Henry David Thoreau

❤ I also loved this TED talk about Jane McGonigal called: The game that can give you 10 extra years of your life. She found herself bedridden and suicidal following a severe concussion, she had a fascinating idea for how to get better. She dove into the scientific research and created the healing game, SuperBetter. She explains how a game can boost resilience — and promises to add 7.5 minutes to your life. My take away: It’s all a game. Have fun. Be you. Play full out. Losing is part of the game. Express yourself + be creative. Let yourself be happy!! #boom

Elizabeth Gilbert interviewing Brene Brown on Big Strong Magic!   Sooooo gooood! Elizabeth is the The author of BIG MAGIC and Brene Brown, is the author of RISING STRONG. This talk is about how essential creativity is for healthy, wholehearted living. I listened to it while rebounding and had to stop a few times to take a few deep breaths with tears in my eyes. I *loved* Brene’s book and I am just starting to dive into Big Magic.

❤ I got a few “passionate” dislikes and comments on my video about no longer being vegan. This wasn’t the most magical or miraculous thing (ha) but what I loved about it was my emotional process. I observed as I felt pissed off and then a softening happened and I saw it all with compassion. Compassion for myself and for the people who criticize.

I then decided to watch the video. While watching it I felt proud because I think it’s an important topic. I felt a strong resolve to continue to express my truth even if it goes against everything I believed to be true last year (month, day). I felt the freedom and flexibility that comes from being willing to experiment. “All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

❤ Cranialsacral session the other day. I am relatively new to cranialsacral work. My intention was to remove physical and emotional obstacles that may be constricting the flow. I had a profound experience as she was doing her “work”.

Last year at this time our dog was attacked at the beach. In our session the image of our sweet dog dying presented itself. I viscerally felt the fear, the helplessness and sadness gripping in my body. I acknowledged it and I let it be there. Then, something shifted, I felt a release. I realized I didn’t want to hold on to the fear any more.

She died, there is nothing I can do to change that. I can wish it didn’t happen but that won’t bring her back. I then had the realization that I didn’t want to send her off to the light with my worry and helplessness…I wanted to send her off with love. My heart broke open as tears filled my eyes. I had a sweet chat with her and the floodgates of love flowed through me.

This didn’t make all the sadness go away as I went through the whole experience again but what it did do was let me bring more love into my body and soften the fear and smile as I said a goodbye prayer with a heart full of gratitude remembering: Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides. — Lao Tzu Thank you sweet Zoey for giving so much. I love you.

❤ This blog. Grateful to have a place to share my stories, passions and life. I do it for the love of it. I do it because I’m called to do it. It’s a sacred space to share my creativity and it makes me smile. It feels good to be back in the game after years of not blogging. There is peace in knowing I am doing what I am here to do. I am honoring my sacred contract with my soul. Sometimes celebrating the magic lies in the simplicity. The simple creations may not seem like that big of a deal but they are. The way we choose to live our life is our greatest art. Zeus

❤ This morning in my meditation practice. I felt really supported and loved. I have an amazing support system. And, I had tears feeling the love and joy. I savored the grateful overflow. My dog must have been feeling it too because he rested in my lap. I felt like I was wrapped in a beautiful blanket of support. #grateful

Magic, Miracles + Love Abound,

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Bliss Diary – September 22, 2015

There are particular types of seeds that remain dormant until they are broken open by a forest fire. Likewise, there is a seed within you that opens only by the fire of your readiness to transform. Challenges are the great awakeners, and when we welcome them we ignite the inner fire of transformation and invite a greater vision for our life to emerge from within us.” – Michael Bernard Beckwith

Nutrition:
* bulletproof coffee w/mct oil, coconut milk, ghee, stevia
* 16 oz green juice (w/ power greens) + 20 minutes later a big handful of flax crackers
* 32 oz green smoothie (romaine, parsley, cucumber, celery, apple, lemon, avocado)
* bowl of chard/kale and ground beef with a few bites of lemon/avocado/coconut milk ice cream

I have never been a coffee drinker. I really dig a lot of Dave Asprey’s work and I usually just skipped over the coffee part because I was breastfeeding (more on that below) and thought it would be a bad idea for my adrenals.  But, then I watched an interview with him and Alberto Villoldo and they were talking about how coffee activated the longevity gene. It was fascinating so I decided to try it. It’s been a week. I don’t notice much of a difference but willing to experiment. 

Movement:
* 15 minutes of rebounding + 30 burpees (watching Power Up Your Brain by my Hubby)
* 7 minute walk to library and 7 minute walk home

* ~30 minute Family stroll after dinner

Affirmation:
I’ve got this. Power up!!

Meditation:
*
15 minutes
*
75 minute napitation listening to the I am healthy blissitation (yay! for toddler naps;)

Body Goodness:
I am feeling good in my body. I’m a little bit sore from sprint (ok, a stride;) workout yesterday. I am also healing the last bit of a sinus infection which feels awesome. I will write a post on what I did to heal it naturally soon. I think doing the mold remediation in our kitchen and hello!, the last few months of change and transformation gave my immune system a run for her money. 🙂 But, feeling strong today. A new level of determination has arisen. Challenges are the great awakeners.

I also stopped breastfeeding after I had my seizures. They gave me an anti-convulsant (keppra) IV in the ER and I am currently on a low dose for 3 months to ensure I don’t have another one. I will begin tapering off soon. I was planning to stop nursing when E turned 3 and we’d been talking about it so it wasn’t that big of a transition. Yet, there was a sweet and tender sadness because I loved it so much. (tears!) But, it was also time for me to replenish my body, honor the seasons of change and the natural cycles of life.

Mind/Heart Goodness:
I had a dream last night about my college volleyball days. I was on the court playing a game and I was just off, totally not in my usual flow. I felt like a failure. I was walking off the court for a time-out and had a flash of the time my coach called me into his office and told me I was the spark plug of the team. I was the catalyst. I had a surge of energy and power and there was a feeling of yes, this is who I am.

When I opened my eyes this morning I smiled. I’ve got fire. A lot of it and a spark plug is an awesome way to describe it. Thanks to my Coach for seeing and reminding me that I am a catalyst 17 years ago. How I live my life influences everyone around me. I am choosing to embrace that part of me today, let her play and bring the fire back into my days. #bringit

I’m reading: I recently finished Unleash The Power of Your Female Brain by Daniel Amen. I loved it because I am all about optimizing the brain. I have a bunch of his books I intend on reading and I look forward to doing a SPECT scan at one of his clinics.

This weekend I read Rising Strong by Brene Brown. Amazing! I love her. It was  an especially nourishing read with my current process. “The irony is that we attempt to disown our difficult stories to appear more whole or more acceptable, but our wholeness – even our wholeheartedness- actually depends on the integration of all of our experiences, including the falls.”

Now, I am reading SuperBetter by Jane McGonigal. It’s backed by a lot of research on how playing games can make you a happier, stronger and braver. I find her research fascinating on video games but I don’t play them and we don’t even have a TV. What I’m really interested in is making life more gameful. One of my top strengths is playfulness and I love to see the evidence showing that play is a smart thing to do. 🙂

Gratitude + Appreciation: I am grateful for our beautiful town. I love where we live. I am grateful my son takes naps so that I can take them too. I am grateful for my amazing husband and all of his support and hard work. I am grateful for my Mom, she is my best friend. I am grateful for all the amazing books I read on a regularly basis. I am grateful for my challenges and my choice to see them as growth opportunities. I am grateful for all the passionate and brilliant people out there doing incredible work to inspire and help others. #thankyou

I am feeling determined, inspired and content.

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P.S. My husband has a new podcast called Optimize. You can check it out HERE! There has been over 400,000 downloads in the last few weeks which is pretty amazing!! 🙂