Bliss Diary – October 15, 2015

Just keep coming home to yourself. You are the one you’ve been waiting for. — Byron Katie

Affirmation: I trust my life! ❤

Mind/Heart Goodness: I woke up and meditated with the intention that all is well. I am on the right path. And, as I was going throughout my day I noticed the inner gremlins had a bunch of “opinions”.

I did some turnarounds on some of the the thoughts that were making me feel a bit grouchy to:

  • My life as a stay at home Momma is awesome. I love the joy and the simplicity and the ease that flows with regular routines. There is so much joy available if I am willing to look for it.
  • It’s all good I can’t drive (when you have seizures or even faint and take an ambulance ride they turn it into the DMV and you can’t drive for a period of time). It just means I get to simplify more and find new things to explore within in walking distance.
  • What I am going through right now in regards to my health is only guiding me to wholeness. I wouldn’t be growing in the way that I am right now if I didn’t have 2 seizures. It’s a blessing in disguise. I can see at least 5 ways this is true – #1 being we met with Daniel Amen on Tuesday! Hello, talk about AWESOME!
  • I am grateful that our kitchen is being remediated and we will soon have our dishwasher back. I am thankful I was so proactive and thrilled to have the mold out of our home!
  • I am blessed to have the opportunity, resources and knowledge to prepare our family’s meals with the most nutrient rich ingredients. It’s actually really fun if I let myself enjoy it! 🙂

This is the practice. Can we do it on the days we don’t don’t feel like or life doesn’t go the way we think it should? Life is as it should be! Now. Today. Always. I reminded myself this again and again throughout the day. 😉

What I learned from my toddler: I looked at the dishes in the sink. I sometimes resist doing them. We’ve been doing dishes by hand for the last month while getting the mold out and re-building. Thankfully, we have 2 sinks so we can still cook and clean. But, ok, back to the dishes…

I committed to getting them done and asked my 3 year old son if he wanted to help. He enthusiastically said: YES! Get what Dampa made (it’s a learning tower my step dad made for him). He was JAZZED to do the dishes! (Ha so great!) He jumped up and grabbed the sponge and started washing away. Then, he filled a big bowl of water and proceeded to dump it all over the counter and floor. sophocles-quotes-24562

I had to laugh as there was water everywhere while also reminding myself it’s all good.  I’ve been practicing being warm neutral, observing and stating what I notice for the last 3 years (Thanks to RIE). It’s been instrumental as I navigate this whole parenting process.

So, I calmly said: I noticed you filled the bowl and dumped it on the counter and floor. Is there a reason you did that?
He said: I just did it!
Then, I said: Ok, you can dump bowls of water in the sink but I don’t want it on the counter or the floor. Please keep all the water in the sink.
He said: OK and kept washing. No big Deal (NBD as we say in our house). We finished the dishes and he was actually really helpful and made it so much more fun! 🙂

I thought to myself. Life’s actually easier if we don’t bring the drama. I could have made it a bigger deal. But, the beauty of children is they explore, that’s what they are wired to do. If we get upset as they experiment with life it just shows we have some work to do, not them.

And, at the end of the day…What is my intention? My intention is to trust, experience joy and have a beautiful relationship with my child. TRUST! FLOW! JOY! SURRENDER!

Transformation is available every day no matter what we are doing! It’s always there waiting for us to step into our power if we are willing. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It can be as simple as washing the dishes with a toddler. And, the best part is we can either make it a game and enjoy the process or suffer. It’s not always easy but so worth the effort to choose fun and ease! 🙂

Nutrition:
* bulletproof coffee with 1/2 TB mct oil + 1 tsp ghee + 3 TB coconut cream + collagen +  stevia
* 16 oz green juice (celery, cucumber, parsley, ginger and a splash of apple)
* lulu’s maca chocolate buttercups with some plantain chips
* chocolate delish muffins + ginger kombucha
* 4 oz green juice + cauliflower rice w/bone broth + little bit of steak + olives + pasta sauce

— Wondering about my love affair with chocolate.;) And, also changing to decaf coffee and only going to have it on occasion. It’s been a good month experiment but I don’t want to have it everyday. Especially, since I won’t be drinking it while pregnant. No, I’m not pregnant but getting prepared. 😉

Meditation: 15 minutes

Movement: 35 minute walk/jog/stride on the bike path pushing the stroller + a 15 minute walk later in the day.

Rest: Bed at 9:30 last night and woke up at 5:30 am & a took a 30 minute napitation while my son napped.

Gratitude & Appreciation:  I am super grateful for Dr. Daniel Amen and his decades of research and pioneering. We had an amazing visit with him earlier this week! WOW! I am still integrating it all and really excited to increase my brain power even more. I am grateful for my beautiful computer. I am grateful for clean drinking water. I am thankful my cousin had a glorious birth and welcomed her first child into the world. New life…it’s a beautiful thing. I am grateful for all of my coaches and mentors over the years. It’s amazing how much I’ve learned and changed.

Thank you to the ordinarily extraordinary day that allowed me to continue to blossom where I stand and to my toddler who continuously shows me how to fully live out loud in such a real and authentic way!  May I continue to see all the blessings I have in my life. #thankyou

Ok, my son is loudly expressing he’s ready to go! Sending love!

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Body Shame to Body Love

I had a body love moment when I looked in the mirror last week and I talked about in the video above. I felt a huge wave of gratitude because that wasn’t always the case. Like many woman I’ve worked with body image issues throughout the years.  I shared a bit of my personal story and the 4 practices I believe have helped decrease shameful thoughts/feelings about my body and also help me celebrate the unique beauty in all women!

Ok, I hear a toddler wanting to play by saying: “Put me in.” He’s really into being wrapped up in blankets and then pretending he’s a caterpillar and finding a hole and coming out as a butterfly. So awesome and sweet and one of those times when you smile in awe of how amazing these little people are! 🙂

May we all continue to invite play into our transformation process.

Sending body love,

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Bliss Diary – July 21, 2015

I found out I have Hashimoto’s last night. I recently got the results of a thyroid panel I did two weeks ago. This was the first time we tested for antibodies. My TSH was down so I was jazzed about that but later learned the antibody numbers confirmed Hashimoto’s. I knew that was a possibility but I was pretty sure I didn’t have an autoimmune disease. I’ve never had any “serious” symptoms some people deal with. My main symptoms are fatigue, some dry patches on my scalp, slight fluctuations with weight, and acne (altho, that has changed drastically since I’ve taken out grains and limited higher glycemic foods).

I am feeling a bit shocked with moments of denial along with a sense of relief. After I put my son to bed I sat on the couch and cried. I cried because Whaaaat? I have an autoimmune disease? And, I also cried because I finally knew what has been going on for the last probably 15+ years. I have been tired for awhile.

I remember the fatigue in college. Some days I would take caffeine pills before volleyball practice just to get moving. I’ve had skin issues since then too. I’m an athlete…strong with a disciplined mind and a high pain tolerance. I played Div I college volleyball with a stress fracture in my foot for 3 years. I felt better doing certain things nutrition/health wise but there was still a level of fatigue and skin issues that persisted.

Last night the tears just kept flowing from my eyes as I was trying to go to bed. I knew (for a long time) that something was off in my body. I’ve diligently focused on healing my body for 18 years. I got certified as a massage therapist, private trainer and holistic nutrition coach to learn more about the body & health.

My lifestyle is so dialed in now because I’ve made big and small leaps moving away from a SAD (Standard American Diet) to an organic whole foods diet (no grains, no vegetable oils, no processed foods/sugar). I feel like my thyroid has been the missing piece. This has been under the radar and limiting my full healing and optimization. My body has had to work with a lot of things throughout the years.

Snap shot of my health history: born c-section, strep throat and antibiotics every year, adenoids/tonsils removed, pushing my body *really* hard in college, taking advil for pain relief from the stress fracture. etc. Most autoimmune diseases are caused by intestinal permeability (leaky gut), genetic disposition and nutrition/lifestyle triggers.

There is no doubt that I’ve had a compromised gut/immune system for a long time. It probably started the first few weeks of my life because c-section babies gut lining usually doesn’t seal properly because they didn’t get the healthy vaginal bacteria that helps with this process. This can cause all sorts of inflammation problems which is most likely one of the reasons I was hospitalized for 2 seizures when I was a toddler. My sweet little baby body.

So now what? Well, serendipitously I was already thinking (and have been for awhile) to have our whole family do the AIP diet. We will just need to make a few tweaks and we’ll be golden. I already have a lot of books on autoimmune diseases. Before I was reading them because I’m passionate about optimal nutrition and now I am reading them with a new fervor.

I’m obviously still integrating this but my goal is to have my blood tests show that  Hashimoto’s is in remission. I will do this with diet and lifestyle and continue to do tests until the numbers prove that what I am doing is working. I also know that this new data is only going to make me and my family so much healthier. There is a new fire, a new commitment that feels powerful and I feel so grateful that I have the knowledge and support to rock this! 🙂

Nutrition:
morning delight
green juice
salmon and coconut chips
strawberries and watermelon
3 scrambled eggs with steamed broccoli and olive oil

Movement:
* 20 minute walk pushing the stroller
* 45 minute family walk

Meditation: 15 minutes + 50 minute napitation

Sleep: 5.5 hours. Bed at 9:15 but couldn’t sleep so I read for a bit and fell asleep around 10:45 and then woke up at 2:45 wide awake and fell back asleep from 4-5:30.

Gratitude & Appreciation: I am grateful for my commitment to learning and studying and finding ways to heal myself. My curiosity and passion for learning and growing is why I’ve gotten to the root of my health challenges. I’ve been moved to tears today with an overwhelming amount of gratitude and appreciation for so many people. I am grateful for my amazing naturopath doctor who’s made this his life’s work. I am grateful for my awesome acupuncturist and my local functional doctor. I also have a new level of compassion and gratitude for myself and my body. I have been doing an amazing job throughout the years. I am grateful for all the hard work I’ve already invested. I am grateful for all the pioneers in the autoimmunity community, especially Sarah Ballantyne, Terry Wahls, and Amy Myers. I am grateful for my husband, he has supported all my health adventures, tests, questions, and intuition. Lastly, my son…I am beyond grateful for my son. His presence in my life continuously inspires me to rise up and be the woman I am. I go to bed with a bunch of questions and an abundance of appreciation. #thankyou

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Bliss Diary – July 12, 2015

Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started. — David Allen

Hello, Sunday! My morning wasn’t what I expected…there were dishes in the sink, toddler creations around the house, laundry pile, blueberries spilled on the floor, our dog peed and pooped inside and chewed up my one of my favorite headbands…then, a glitch when we transferred one computer to another and I lost some of my data which included deleting all my contacts on my phone.

Usually I move through things pretty fast, but I was feeling pretty crabby for about 30 minutes. I felt like I was going to cry with frustration, especially about the computer and phone stuff.

Then, I sat down to meditate. One of the text messages that was saved in the weird glitch was from our dear friend, Dave, who passed away in October. It’s been almost 9 months and I haven’t been able to delete his texts or his phone number. Sitting with his death in my meditation made my so-called “crappy” morning look like bliss.

I felt a rush of gratitude that I am still here (alive) writing these words. Then, I surrendered and shifted. This is the nature of life. Things come and they go. We come and we go. Everything passes. Sometimes the sun shines and sometimes  it rains. I was reminded that each breath I breathe is a gift. Truly a gift, no matter what the weather’s like.

Intention/Affirmation: I intend to get clear about what I want to complete during our declutter challenge on the Oasis. I want to get rid everything I don’t love and creating new systems to thrive. I am clearing space in my mind, home and life. #getthingsdone

Nutrition:
7:30 morning delight (same as yesterday)
11:00 strawberries and small piece of watermelon
12:45 salmon fillet from last night + small green goddess salad
2:30 chia lemonade
6:00 chicken + guacamole + bigger goddess green salad + fresh coconut meat + water

Movement:
20 minutes of rebounding
10 minutes of yin yoga before bed

Meditation: 15 minutes + 40 minute napitation

Body Goodness: I am surprisingly not that sore for my workout yesterday. My body feels good. Still moving through stuff. #detoxin’ Thanks to Ellen Mary, I am going to bring back daily skin brushing into my morning routine to help with the cleansing and stimulate the lymph system. I am also amazed at my success rate with naps. I laid down to do a guided meditation and didn’t think I was going to fall asleep and then…my son woke me up when he woke up from his nap. It had been 40 minutes. #queennapper

Mind/Heart/Spirit Goodness: My morning dealings with “stuff” plus the preparation for our declutter challenge next week has really inspired me. I want to elevate my habits in regards to organization/getting things done.

I’m going to dive back into my organization books:
Sink Reflections by Maria Cilley
A Mother’s Rule of Life by Holly Pierlot

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
Getting Things Done by Dave Allen
And, one of my favs Leo from zenhabits.net

I have a vision of what it will look and creating simplifying/organizational habits are essential to making that a reality. I must do them until they are just what I do, they become routine. I wouldn’t think of missing my meditation habit. I’ve done it for 8 years without missing a day (some days I was breastfeeding but still showing up). I’ve need to create a strong why and live into the benefits.

I sometimes put things off that don’t light me up. I want to read, write, create and be divinely feminine and not deal with phone calls, cleaning, little things that need to be fixed, etc. But, the reality is we all have to do these things, unless…we hire someone to do it all. Hmmmm, if I’m asking the question if I had it all my way… I may choose to include that in my desire list. 🙂 For now, I feel called to master this skill/habit more.

The ironic thing is when I do a bunch of completions and follow GTD principles I have more space in my life to create + do the things I love because I’m not dissipating energy on things I’m procrastinating on or things I haven’t finished yet. David Allen says:

If you don’t pay appropriate attention to what has your attention, it will take more of your attention than it deserves.

Would love to hear what has worked for you. Books/Resources/Tips?

Gratitude & Appreciation: I am grateful for Whole Foods and the brilliant founder, John Mackey. I am grateful for RIE and all the parenting wisdom I’ve gained in the last 3 years. It has made life sooo much easier. I am grateful for our amazing communication as a family, we rarely have power struggles. I am grateful for the slow rhythm we’ve chosen to live in order to honor our son’s natural rhythm. I am grateful for all the time, money and energy we have to create the life we live, and for all the people that believe in us, support us and love us. #thankyou

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Bliss Diary – June 13, 2015

“When one’s expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have.” — Stephen Hawking

Nutrition:
fat
tea (cacao powder/butter, ghee, coconut milk, mct oil, peppermint oil, stevia)
cucumbers kale/pesto hummus + salmon + nori sheets
apple slices and sunflower butter
fresh coconut shake (coconut meat + water + maca + cinnamon + coconut oil)
cauliflower rice + spinach stir fry w/coconut oil + baked chicken

Movement:
*17:20 Tabata workout (morning)
*10 min walk (midday)
*15 min yin yoga (evening)

Affirmation: I accept and love myself just the way I am. Now. Today. In this moment.

I had set this intention this morning and then opened up a book and read this passage:

Perfectionists often have a strong “never enough” bias. I want to challenge you to be content in the very moment you read this. Accept your life, as imperfect as it surely is, think This is enough.

Contentment isn’t passivity. It’s the highest-quality setup for personal growth: a mind clear of distractions and a pure no-strings-attached desire to do something that matters to yourself and the world. Contentment even protects us from feeling stuck and acting passively.

We get stuck when we feel like life is never enough: there’s not enough time in the day; we didn’t get enough sleep; we didn’t do enough this morning; there’s not enough money’ or we’re not good enough for (unlimited reasons).

…Let today be the day that you choose to have enough, and enjoy the freedom and joy that follows. — Stephen Guise — How to Be an Imperfectist

Body Goodness: I am going to do a post on honoring our cycles soon (maybe tomorrow). I have been tracking my cycle for the last year and I’ve learned so much about myself. I should be getting my menstrual cycle in the next few days. I’ve observed I am more reflective, sensitive and tired during this time. I also tend to crave more alone time, rest and cacao. 😉 Each phase of my cycle is different and I do my best to honor my natural feminine rhythms as much as possible.

Gratitude + Appreciation: I am grateful for my family. I am grateful for all the people who make my life easier (like Stan who fixed our air conditioner today). I am grateful for my iphone. I am grateful for the Oasis and all the amazing peeps there. I am grateful for my 65 minute nap (sooo gooood!).  I am grateful for the hubby taking little E on an adventure to the park so I could  write. I am grateful for our friends and community. So much love and gratitude.

I am feeling reflective, content, and connected.

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P.S. I listened to Enough by Mrs. while I wrote this post. Super inspiring song to remember that we are enough! #youareenough