There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.
The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.
You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.
16 oz green juice – lemon/ginger/stevia drink
green goddess salad (head of romaine, 1 avocado, 1 can of wild salmon, 2 TB primal mayo, dulse, coconut aminos, lemon juice as mashed together in coconut wraps
raw pacari chocolate
bowl of cauliflower rice with some olives + coconut chips w/bacon fat, cinnamon, and sea salt
* 15 minute toddler stroll at 7 am to say hello to the sun
* 90 minute yoga class. #bliss
* 20 minute walk pushing stroller
* 15 min foam roller + pigeon yoga pose
I was in yoga class doing some cat and dog poses then holding plank. Betsy advised us to slowly move back into child’s pose and rest. I took a breath…and exhaled. Releasing.
Then, I felt the tingling as tears were forming behind my closed eyes. I took another breath and silently said: “soften”. The tears welled up and two slowly slipped from my eyes.
I wasn’t trying to stop the feeling (or tears). It was just there and I welcomed it. I felt my heart open. I told myself it’s ok to feel. It’s ok to have tears.
It brought me back to breakfast this morning. My son noticed a cut on my right hand and asked if it hurt and if I cried. I said, “no.” He asked: “does Mommy cry?” I said, “sometimes I cry when I’m hurt. And, sometimes I cry when something touches my heart. I cried with joy when you were born.” He then told me about the time he cried after a bee stung his finger.
I took another centering breath. Feeling my forehead rest on the yoga mat. Letting the feeling and emotion flow through me. Not knowing what triggered the tears. I just let it be. I didn’t try to find a reason. I just stayed connected…breathing….being with the unfolding moments. Then… it passed. I slowly moved into downward dog feeling a renewed sense of aliveness. It felt good and affirming as if some barriers were breaking down.
Meditation: 15 minutes + 5 minutes
Appreciation & Gratitude: I am grateful for the nourishing chat I had with my husband. I am so grateful we are going to do Alison Armstrong’s audio workshop together. Hubster know how to make me happy. 🙂 I am grateful for yoga. I am grateful that my boys were waiting for me after yoga class with a green juice + a kombucha. I felt like a blessed Goddess. I am grateful for sleep. I am grateful for my commitment to being my best self. I am grateful for all the sweet love and kindness I am receiving about my daily diary.
Something awesome about today: My son is having a blast with his balance bike. He wears a helmet and he loves it. He loves it so much that he actually tried to go to sleep with the helmet on last night. We decided to put it by the bed until morning. When he awoke he put it back on. It’s 5 pm and he’s pretty much worn it all day. Eating, walking, nursing, swinging, at the farmer’s market and in the stroller. It’s hilarious and *awesome*! He is all in!! Just being him fully.
It inspired me today when I wanted to wear a red tank top underneath a pink tank top. My first thought was: that doesn’t match. Then, I thought: if my son can wear his bike helmet everywhere I can wear pink and red. So I did. 🙂 Made me smile. I am amazed how much I grow and learn from him daily.